🚨[LIVE] Non Fart Payrolls Holding Steady — No Gas Detected 📈Fartonomics report: 69% of wallets survived this week’s emissions 📊FTP Earnings Released — Jerome signed with a PFFFT
🧻Warning: Excess leverage may result in uncontainable emissions 📬Jerome Powell just signed 100 FTP payroll receipts (with a sniff) 🤡Insider Leak: “This token’s fundamentals? Tighter than a clenched cheek.”
💥 BREAKING: Smart contract failed... but only emotionally. 🎓Now enrolling: Degenomics 101 – Major in Flatulence-Free Finance 🏛️Federal Fart Reserve printing new stimulus: 420,000 $FTP minted

$NFP
Non Fart Payrolls

CA: Fug8YJKqNJHjt9mNceqRApvsU3AUSCCwnMerVkhPpump

🚨[LIVE] Non Fart Payrolls token hits ATH after strong NFP data 🔒Stake your $FTP — earn 69% APY in methane credits 🫢 Smells like... bullish consolidation.
📉 Analysts predict: market upward movement caused by a collective clench. 💸“No one farted, and the floor is kept at 2 millies.”
🧻 $FTP is now legal tender in Flatulonia. 🏛️Federal Fart Reserve printing new stimulus: 420,000 $FTP minted 🧾 Jerome’s printer: silent mode ON — payrolls approved with no emissions
Disclaimer: $FTP is a satirical digital asset created for entertainment purposes only. It carries no financial value, utility, or investment guarantee. The creators assume no liability for losses, misuse, or degenerate behavior. Interact at your own risk.